John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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