is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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