I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
