I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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