so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
