oh god the rape fog is back!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
