Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
