I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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