yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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