They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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