last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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