What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
