I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
