Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
