I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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