i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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