I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
