you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
