do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
