exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
