bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
