It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
