there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
