You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
