Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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