i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
