I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
