My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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