It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
