so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
