yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
