playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
