we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
