so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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