No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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