it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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