Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
