ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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