i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
