Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The uberlube is also flammable
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
