awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
