I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
