Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
