How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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