singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
