Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
