just tell him i said nine months
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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