My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
