Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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