OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
did i just pee glitter
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
