dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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